It's Depressing Me

I am going to play the piano in sacrament meeting. This is at the insistence of my teacher, Brother Call. My compromise was that I would play prelude music but that was not good enough for him. An intermediate musical number and I really don't think I can do it. I am playing, My Heavenly Father Loves Me ... well an arrangement of that. It is 3 pages and I have to memorize the entire thing and then the harder part is my fingers have to actually play it. Anyway, I have been practicing like crazy and the other day Erin came and said, Mom, that song you've been playing, can you please stop playing it. Erin always gets bad headaches, so I asked if it was her head, and she replied, no, my head is fine -- it's just every time I hear you play that it just makes me feel awful inside. I like the song, I don't know how to explain it but when you play it I feel all sad and depressed. How's that for a confidence builder!

Primary Sub?!!!

So on Sunday, the new Primary Pres. came up to me and asked if I would sub for the CTR 6 class that day. Can you believe it ... I didn't even have one week, but I said, no, that I would rather not. Why, you may ask. Okay, last week I was officially released, but I was still in Primary the entire time. I had to do the Sharing Time! There was a reason for the release. I just wanted to sit through Relief Society, a meeting with no children, including my own, and do nothing but listen. Second, I didn't really want to sit in someone else's Primary right after being released. It is no longer my domain; and third, I didn't want others to view me as a pathetic lurker ... someone released from their calling who acts like they cannot handle the release! However, I did agree to sub for the next few weeks in Nursery. I really, really, really do not want to do this. Chandra, who was my couselor and is in this presidency as well, asked, and I just couldn't say no to her. I tried to say no, but couldn't. It was the absolute best feeling last Saturday night when I realized I had absolutely NOTHING to do. I had nothing to prepare. I went to bed at 10:00 -- Halleluiah!

I am Tired!

I painted the kitchen today and half of the bathroom. I also painted the stairwell and a couple of doors. I am so tired. The girls and I sorted out their room, packing up things, throwing things out, donation pile, etc. Yikes! We have accumulated 3 huge bags of junk just in one afternoon. One bag was just what was under Jenna (the hoarder's) bed! Now, I have left to paint only the girls room and our room and the other half of the bathroom ... well, if you don't count the garage. I have to paint that, too, as well as a bunch of doors and trim, but I think that can happen kind of on an ongoing basis. My friend, Mandi, is an awesome decorator and is going to come and help me "stage" the house and get things going that way and Alice is going to help me scrub my kitchen floor like it's never been scrubbed. My deadine is 2 weeks and there is a ways to go, but I think we can do it! The kids are starting to feel like they have a vested interest in helping our home to sell/rent, as I told them if it does not, we will be living in a 2 bedroom shack in Washington! When I mentioned that, they got extremely cooperative! Lindsey stayed home from school today. She said she was sick, but she was not. I think she coughed a couple of times during the night is how she justified the sick, but I can hardly say no to that girl. She is so incredibly fun to have home during the day. I just treasure that time with her, as she is so sweet and helpful and very hard working. So opposite from her moody side that we often see. When we were sorting through things tonight, I felt so sad when she didn't want to keep her Ariel and Jessie toys. I just can't part with them because I will always remember how she would just sit in the bathtub for hours playing The Little Mermaid and her love for Toy Story. I remember the one Christmas when that is all she wanted was a Jessie dolland how hard it was to find one! She has been my one little princess and she is growing up, and it nice but at the same time so sad.

NEWEST MEMBER OF THE TRACK TEAM

I am so proud of Michael. I think half of Munford Middle School tried out for the track team, but only eighteen kids were selected, and he was one of them. He has really enjoyed the 5K Club that he participated in this year, and it is the same coach. What makes me so very happy is that he says they are really nice kids -- much different from the basketball crowd. Okay, so this is what that coach does. After he makes his team list, he sends a copy to all of the teachers and asks for comments back if there is anyone in jeopardy academically and also if there is any reason for behavioral concerns. He says if anyone doesn't act like a team member, criticizes anyone else on the team or anything else negative, they are gone. I love him, Coach Z. He is such a great guy. I hope Michael has a great season!

After 2 1/2 years ...

I've been released!!! I feel so light, so relieved! I have loved my calling as Primary President, from the very day I was called. However, with Jonathan being gone, it has been a struggle and I have often felt like a whirlwind -- just too much going on. I don't really feel a bittersweet reaction, I just feel happy. I am going up today to the church to clean out my "stuff" and the new president asked if I would go to their first meeting, as she has never even served in the Primary before (talk about overwhelming!), but I have declined. I don't mind meeting with her prior to the meeting, but honestly, I have no desire to sit in on their meeting, and especially the first as they establish their presidency. What I noticed that was very interesting to me is that I have known and loved those children for years. I speak with them each Sunday and almost every Wednesday, yet I was released on Sunday but still did Sharing Time and I found myself having to think of their names -- and almost got stuck a couple of time as crazy as that sounds. I guess the mantle of my calling had been lifted.

So what can I do now? Paint, paint, paint. I also have so much to do and lots of organizing, sorting through things, etc. It's amazing how much you accumulate in just a couple of years. And as I look at the walls and ways we have destroyed our home, I realize a lot of it comes from Jonathan! The kids aren't really that hard on things, but he has certainly caused damage! He really is still like a big kid!