Fifth Grade Winter Sparkle Ball

Erin came home from school a couple of weeks ago with a notice about the 5th grade Winter Sparkle Ball. I could not believe it ... a 5th grade ball?!! Talk about wanting these kids to grow up way too fast and it listed dress as semi-formal. Erin was absolutely beaming and thought this was the greatest thing in the whole entire world. I called Jonathan and he said, no way is she going. I said, well, let me get a little more information and find out exactly what it is all about. So one day when I was up at the school, I asked the secretary about it. She said this was the first she had heard about it and to ask her teacher. I said, well maybe the principal would be better, but she was out for the day. So she asked me to write down my name and phone number and someone would get back with me. I also added on the sheet of paper Erin's name and her teacher..........

Okay, so a couple of hours later I get a phone call from the secretary. She said, Ms. Ward, this is Tanya from Atoka Elementary School. I just wanted to let you know that your daughter is in 3rd grade and not 5th grade, so this dance isn't anything you need to worry about because 3rd graders aren't invited. I just stared at the phone with my mouth open. I had to think for a minute because I wanted to say, oh my goodness, you are so right! Thank you for clarifying that situation for me! And to think, this whole year I thought she was a 5th grader, but now that you bring it to my attention, I remember she really is in 3rd grade. But I didn't. No, I said slowly, I was asking for my daughter Erin WHO IS IN THE 5TH GRADE. Oh, she said, well, it is an after school event so your daughter is not required to go if you don't want her to. Again, I paused and slowly said, I understand she does not need to go to an after school function, I just wanted to get some information on what would be happening at this event.

So a couple of hours later I got another phone call from her teacher, Ms. Webb. She assured me there would not be slow dancing (hip grinding) and no dates. She also said Sunday best was very appropriate dress and they did not want anyone buying a new dress for this. It was just a fun event ... hula hoop contests, line dancing, pictures, food, etc. I told her in that case, a different name may be more appropriate such as the 5th grade sock hop, 5th grade Christmas party, anything other than the 5th grade ball. She said, I can tell you are not very comfortable with this and so would you like to chaperone? Yes, I would. It turns out that this dance, like everything else, is really just a fund raiser. They are at a new school this year (brand new school) and it seems like every time we turn around, there is another fund raiser. It is so ridiculous that they have to pay $1 to wear pajamas for pajama day and $1 to wear a silly hat for silly hat day. I know they are trying to get a playground, etc, but I really miss their old school. They had a principal with common sense who treasured childhood and was in no hurry to promote things beyond their years. I also miss their old secretary who knew every child and every family and had lots of intelligence as well as good old common sense!

Another Day

Okay, so for my records here goes their progress:
Jenna is eating better and seems not so agitated. She still is getting up nicely in the mornings and no meltdowns so far. She does not seem to crave sugar as much. When shes cries now I can tell it is mostly fake so I tell her she is faking and she gets a big smile and stops. She continues to be much more rational and though still super duper wiggly, she is happy.
Lindsey was very tired this morning but instead of screaming and lashing out, came and asked me to help her. She seemed out of it and said she could not figure out any clothes to wear. I got her clothes, and she said thank you (again, that is huge for Lindsey) and put them on. She took her medicine nicely and stated she hates the taste. She has two capsules and she cannot swallow pills so she has to open them and mix with applesauce. But she does this on her own and finishes all the applesauce. She told me last night that she still gets mad inside but only a little and she can control it better and she feels more in control since taking the medicine. She also came home yesterday and said school was great. When I asked her why, she said she did not know why, it just was. Maybe she is feeling less anxiety, I don't know. Lindsey in school always has lots of friends and I think the kids kind of rally around her and like to protect her because she is shy and is a quiet crier, as in, when she gets nervous she sits quietly with tears streaming down her face. She just seemed very happy when she came home. Had another bowel movement and said she used to go every 3-4 days and now goes every day. She said that alone makes her feel alot better. She asked me to get her some tictacs or mini m&ms today so that she can practice swallowing pills.

Car Ride to School

So, I was not prepared for this one. On the way to school today, Michael said, all I hear about anymore is sex. I said, oh, well where do you hear about this? Oh, school, church, etc. Church, I asked? Well, they use nicer terms and I know they are trying to help us, but it's still all I hear about. So then he goes on to say, but I have a question, what is gay sex? I about choked? Where are you hearing about that, I asked? In my Sunday School class. Do you mean your teacher is bringing up this conversation? No, another kid in my class asked about it to which I replied, well what did your teacher say? Oh, she just said you don't need to worry about it because gay marriage is not legal in Tennessee. I guess going along the lines that you don't have sex outside of marriage so we don't need to worry about that if they can't get married. I thought for sure then it was going to go into, well, I don't even understand that, how do two guys have sex ... but luckily he did not ask that. YIKES! Talk about an early morning discussion! So we just talked about how people today think that anything they want to do is okay, but how it is not Heavenly Father's plan, etc, Adam and Eve, the purpose of marriage, etc. I need Jonathan to come back!

Chinese Medicine

For a year or so, Jonathan and I have been contemplating putting Jenna on something for her rages. She often gets completely out of control and is very overstimulated. She also never, ever stops moving or talking. However, she seems to hold it together at school ...but the second she walks in the door, she starts screaming about something. The only thing that helps her is to get sent to her room, barricade the door, and then after about 20 minutes of kicking, screaming, body slams, and she often cries herself to sleep, and when she wakes up, she is much better. I think part of this goes along with ocd in that she gets "stuck" and cannot get out of it, but I don't know if that is it, either. We have had tons of people tell us she is classic ADHD, but what has held us back is that if kids are on ritalin, etc. typically it only lasts for the school day and she is able to hold it together there behavior wise and academic wise, so we didn't see any great benefit. Anyway, after lots of thinking (years of thinking) we decided to take her for acupuncture. Well, that was an interesting experience because as soon as the dr started putting needles in her, she screamed at the top of her lungs, "get these things out of me" and when he didn't, she proceeded to pull them out herself (it does not hurt -- or so they tell me). At that point, I said to the dr, did I mention she has absolutely no pain tolerance?!! I took her back one more time and though she left them in a little longer, they are supposed to be in for about 15-20 minutes and she left them in for about 2 minutes, thus I felt it not to be a good use of money. He said her problems were her kidneys and spleen. He did not look at her tongue and feel her pulse which I was expecting him to do, but said he could tell that from the fact she searches the house for sugar (from the jar) and eats it by the spoonfulls if she can. She also licks salt right from the shaker. He said her body was telling him what was wrong ... who knows. However, he did give us some herbs for her to take in tincture form and this is my observation of them so far, and I am going to continue to post because I want to keep an accurate account. From day one, she falls asleep much easier and wakes easy and happy. She has only had one rage this week and that was at church on Wednesday night when it got late, and though she did cry some at other times, I was actually able to talk to her and she listened and stopped quickly. It was like a normal cry, and not a rage and her brain did not seem to be stuck. Her personality did not change. She was still very energetic, just not out of control. The part I loved is that every time she screams, she says, I hate myself, no one likes me, I'm so bad, etc. I asked her last night how she felt about herself and she said she felt really good about herself.

Lindsey also saw a chinese doctor, but a different one. This is because I know nothing of chinese medicine and didn't have a good referral from anyone. Jenna's doctor was an american doctor trained in TCM (traditional chinese medicine) and Lindsey's was an actual chinese man also trained in TCM. He is a 3rd generation doctor. Lindsey's experience was different. The reason she went is because she has been constipated since she was little and when I find her underwear still, let's just say it is not a pleasant site. She is also incredibly moody and physical at lashing out to others. She can be very sweet and when she is happy, she is an absolute joy. She is also very funny and makes us laugh all of the time. She just has a fun, cute personality. However, it is like walking on eggshells around her all the time because she can switch just like that. She also has alot of anxiety and has had times that I thought were a start of ocd for her. She also has a lot of sensory issues and flaps her hands alot or wrings her hands over and over when she is agitated. Lindsey LOVES the doctor. She enjoys acupuncture and was a perfect patient. She has gone two times and she actually gets her needles in her stomach, hands, legs and feet. He looked at her tongue and felt her pulse and said she has bad blood (?) and a poorly functioning liver. He has his own herbal pharmacy so where Jenna's drops came already prepared, I had to go back two days later to pick up Lindsey's capsules. He specifically made them for her. The purpose is supposed to be to improve digestion, help her liver to detox, help her constipation and increase blood flow to her brain so that it can regulate and keep healthy seratonin levels for better moods/less anxiety. Lindsey has been taking her herbs since Saturday morning, so two days. Her report so far is that she has had a bowel movement every day and she says it is much easier to go. She says she feels more calm, I don't know if I see it, but this morning she could not find her shoes and Erin found them for her. Normally, Erin would have to put them down and run because that would be something Lindsey would lash out at her for. However, she looked at her and said a simple thank you. I could not believe my ears. That, for her, is some progress.

I have lots of friends and some family whose children are taking medication for many different reasons and please know that I have tons of respect and admiration for what each of you is doing with your children. In our case, I did not see where traditional medicine was going to help my girls, so I opted for an alternative, and it may do the world of good or it may flop in my face -- but either way I am fascinated with all of this. Both drs said it takes about 3 weeks to see results, but so far, it looks at least somewhat promising.