I can never remember my blog name, so I go to Holly's and then click on myself to get here. However, I always first click on Rhode Island Wards because obviously, I still view myself as such! As long as we are here, I remember fairly well where we live and all, but when we are displaced, as in vacation, I barely remember which state we live in anymore! It is crazy!
Michael came into our room last night and you could tell he wanted to talk because he was putting off going to bed. So he comes out with, what do you do when a girl asks you if you want to go out (as in the middle school girlfriend/boyfriend thing.) Jonathan asked, why did someone ask you that, and yes, as a matter of fact, someone did. It was so cute! It is a girl drummer in his band, who is also into sports. I know who she is. Her name is May. So apparently, she asked him out, he said no thanks, and then she wrote him this note that explained she had thought he liked her, etc. He does kind of like her, but he thinks he cannot participate in any of this stuff until he is 16. He thinks he's basically not even "allowed" to like a girl until he's 16 -- and he is very obedient. Can't you (in church etiquette) still "go out" with someone if you don't really date -- or do you tell them they can't have anything to do with the opposite sex in any way until 16 - what exactly does this whole "16" thing mean? I'd love some insight because I think it's rather unrealistic. Can't you just talk on the phone a little and write some cute notes?
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Think I'm Still in RI!
Posted by onedayatatime at 9:50 AM
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5 comments:
I think it is ok to be friendly with someone. Please don't consider me an expert since my oldest is 10, but I think the line is drawn on going out either as a couple or as a group. It would be a pretty boring existence if you tried to avoid friendship with the opposite gender.
Cindy I have the biggest smile on my face right now. That is so cute. Poor Michael I can see this as being a bit of a problem for him. As for the whole 16 thing I have no advice. I could ask Jeremy what he thought but I know he would say not to have anything to do with girls until after a mission as that is what he tells our boys so he is of no help. What did Jonathan say?
I remember when a boy asked me if I would "go with him" when I was in 8th grade...it confused me because I didn't know where we were going...
I think being friends is ok...as is hanging with her and other friends and even writing notes to each other...when he wants to tattoo 'May' on his arm I would worry :)
I'm not a Ward, so I don't know how much my opinion counts, but I'll give it anyway...
I think it is totally appropriate for Michael to have friends that are girls if he is ready for it. If you think about it, the church encourages male/female interaction. Generally when boys are 12-13, they still aren't very interested in girls, and any interactions they hav will be more buddy type friend than what you may think as boy friend/girl friend. At this stage they would probably pass notes and talk on the phone (that's what girls do with their friends anyway)
Around the teacher stage, boys become more interested in girls, and the church encourages interaction. Just not pairing up. That is why they have youth conferences, dances, etc. These are activities where boys and girls can intermingle and learn how to interact with each other in safe environments.
At the Priest stage (magic #16) the boys are ready for the next stage... That is pairing up with someone and going out on dates. Even at this stage, though, it is encouraged that they go on group dates, and not to go exclusively with one girl. The more different girls, the better. At this stage, they should be preparing for missions anyway and not concentrating on dating.
When the boys turn 19, it's time for the mission where they go two years without dating. This can be hard, especially if they dated pretty exclusively. If they dated many girls, they have more people to write them....
Anyway, after the mission, they are then encouraged to date and "seek out" who they will then marry. If they had interactions and "girl-friends" before the mission, then they have already learned many of the lessons they need before marriage. If not, then there is generally a longer period where they need to learn how to date and interact with girls.
This is, of couse, some of the ideas and principles behind the church's policies on dating. As a young man, he needs to be focused on preparing for a mission, but also needs to learn how to have friends that are girls and girl friends. Everyone grows and matures at their own pace. Some may be ready for group activities when they are 14, and others just aren't interested in these strange creatures called girls (young women) until much older. The challenge is to let them grow at their own pace, but also understand some of the principles behind the church policies.
I often joke that I won't let Alexis date until she is 30 (she's too cute and I don't want testosterone ravaged boys around her.... ;) ), but in reality, I'll encourage her to go to activities and participate in group activities where she can learn to interact and put up with boys.
Grant
I agree with many points. But in some areas, I feel we need to be more aggressive. Just my opinion. Love ya. wedding dresses sleeves Pigalle Christian Louboutin. Beach Wedding dresses
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